Friday, December 30, 2011

Hello Blog....

I've missed you.  I know, it's been almost two months.

I'm sorry.

Please don't be mad.

It's not you, it's me.  Really.

Been going through some personal crap that really is all my own doing.  I tend to think way too much and make up scenarios in my head that upset me but are probably not really the case.  Something doesn't go the way I was expecting and I get angry or hurt because "everyone hates me" because it was all my fault it didn't go my way.

I expect perfection in everything and get frustrated when I don't get it.  I really need to learn to accept things and people for the way they are.  Learn to go with the flow.  Not take everything so damn seriously.  It's tough.  It's an ongoing process for me.

But it hasn't been until recently that I'm finally starting to see what I'm doing to myself and that I can control the way I see things and the way I feel about them. 

I'm not saying I'm miraculously "changed".  I'm saying I'm in the process of figuring it out.  Finally.  I think. 

So through all this I withdrew and ignored you dear blog.  Just like in real life trying to hide all the bad stuff.  Going out in public with a smile on your face even though you are crying inside.  Telling people who ask how you're doing "Great, how are you?"   

But I'm feeling better and I'm back.

And I'm gonna try my darnedest not the let my mind get in the way anymore!  We'll see!  LOL

P.S.  I'd like to thank a couple bloggy friends for spurring this post and helping me put it all into words.  One for asking me how things were going which caused me to just let it all out and one for talking plans and goals with me for the new year (let's make it a great one!)


Amy said...

The first step in fixing a problem is admitting there is one. Way to go for you. We all battle inner deamons in one way or the other...I can definitely relate!

Call or text anytime! :)

Nicole said...

I know that so many people "log out" when they are going through hard times. I, unfortunately, tend to do the opposite and "let it all hang out", which turns people off, I think. It's my blog, so I'll do what I want, but there probably is some balance!

I, for one, will be so glad to hear what you have to say, regularly, good or bad!! I've missed you!

Happy New Year!